Moment

When is the exact moment we realize, we are not immortal

When is the exact moment it dawns on us that our loved ones can die

And leave us abandoned with nothing and no one to blame

When is the exact moment we feel the huge misery which cannot be contained in the whole world

At the same time we realize our own smallness in the universe

Helpless and waif like, weak and distraught

When is the exact moment when we overcome the life's greatest epiphany

that no matter how much you know or believe you cannot go on with the loss you endured

you still move on ...

The people you once held precious in heart become faded memories....life waits for nothing

When is the moment we succumb to the fact that even after reaching the peak we aimed for

there are still battles to be fought and wars to be won

When is that exact lightening moment that it finally becomes clear

Our best is not enough its not even close

And so it matters none

One or hundred, the effort, the total, the sum

When in that moment instead of breaking down and crying

We marvel at the challenges that are out there for us to conquer

We pick up the meagre pieces of our life and set sail, because new horizons are still to be found

Broken and undone, we might be then...

But still in that moment we choose to play the game.

Happy Songs

The happy songs that I want to sing
Where every line rhymes and joy for sure rings
Light as feather heart and soul
Moonbeams and nectar
Sunshine and puffy clouds
Dancing like crazy, laughing till it hurts
Holding hands with someone who matters
Giggling crazy till tears stream wild
Enjoying life like its going out of style
Happy songs at the back of mind
They seldom make it to my lips all the way
But they exist
Oh they surely do
To tide me through whatever it is
That makes my day gloomy and blue
Happy songs like star bright
Happy songs my heart's delight
Happy songs that feel surreal
Happy songs make life livable

Words

Words pour out, but they are all a jumble
Putting them together is like playing scrabble
Murderous intents and threatening calls
All put into words are just only that
Words on paper, word of mouth
Words have meanings that only we can define
Wars and peace a theory in words
Actions reduced to adjectives and verbs
Histories written written down to be studied and read
All in words, all devoid of pain
Words without feelings, clinically sterile
Words are nothing without your mind
Your sense and sensibilities add emotions to them
Words are only words they have no reason, they are lame
Words of love, words of hate
Words not weapons have won many a wars
How did words get so savvy
Its the one who says them with manner uncanny
Words just words would be like stones in a can
You rattle them together, only sound comes back
Words are more than words when hearts set to do so
Words are made meaningful when soul sets them free
Words are then birds flying high and wild
Words are messages then of freedom rites

Ghosts

What is a ghost, is it a cluster of feelings and needs
hopes and dreams left unfulfilled
the best and worst a raw jumble of meanings
That we tried to sort through all our lives but couldnt
The best we wanted people to see in us but they just wouldnt
So now we float through eternity transperant and unseen
Only acknowledged for spirits we are, nothing personal to it
Misunderstood and ignored
Unheard and seen through
never felt or touched
Ghosts of our past, ghosts of our deeds
Ghosts that live within us and tell us we matter to noone so we dont really exist
A bog so deep in the well of our being
Where fantasies meet crushing, brutal realities of life
Ghosts dwell there of our dreams, which all died an infant death
Ghosts of actions we regret to this day
Scary and ghoulish ghosts of our sins
Romantic and warm ghosts of that coveted first kiss
All those ghosts, all those memories, all within and in distant horizon beyond
Ghosts of enormous human heart that keeps beating even after the body is long gone.

Where do I fit in

Where in this world do I fit In
Where in this life do I belong?
In this tightly knit fabric of existence why do I feel like I stand out?
Like a shadow, Sometimes a ghost even
I float in and out of life itself I feel

Orbiting around others so neatly together bound
Where is my circle of comfort
Where are the ones to whom I matter?
Alone and lonely, tired and ragged
Me an orphan bymyself always always

Why create something that will never be loved
Why make a life that will matter to no one
Cold just cold my sighs of regret
To have lived this long in my own stuggles and bondage
Why then still this hope reigns within me
That someday something warm and happy will come looking for me

Is this a cosmic joke something I'll never really get?
Why I continue to hope when hope is really only and all there is
Why I wake up each morning and pray
Why I dream each night of a yellow sunray?

Life just aint FAIR!!!!!!!!

Life seems so unfair most times
Things are thorny and nothing goes as expected
And it seems its all for no reason or rhyme
Then a sunny ray amidst the gloom
lifts the veil to reveal
The most beautiful joys ....small as they may seem
meaningful nonetheless
Smile of a baby, a giggle lilting through wind
A single happenstance to put things in perspective
To make a new beginning...or end a gray stretch
Thats life isnt it?
Each day, each minute a chance ...an opportuinity to make a start
A struggle if you drag your feet a war if you wage it against yourself
Its still all there is and our prerogative
LIFE a little word, a big treasure
LIFE a rogue domain of persistent wants
LIFE a broken stanza of a crazy love song.