Where do I fit in

Where in this world do I fit In
Where in this life do I belong?
In this tightly knit fabric of existence why do I feel like I stand out?
Like a shadow, Sometimes a ghost even
I float in and out of life itself I feel

Orbiting around others so neatly together bound
Where is my circle of comfort
Where are the ones to whom I matter?
Alone and lonely, tired and ragged
Me an orphan bymyself always always

Why create something that will never be loved
Why make a life that will matter to no one
Cold just cold my sighs of regret
To have lived this long in my own stuggles and bondage
Why then still this hope reigns within me
That someday something warm and happy will come looking for me

Is this a cosmic joke something I'll never really get?
Why I continue to hope when hope is really only and all there is
Why I wake up each morning and pray
Why I dream each night of a yellow sunray?

Life just aint FAIR!!!!!!!!

Life seems so unfair most times
Things are thorny and nothing goes as expected
And it seems its all for no reason or rhyme
Then a sunny ray amidst the gloom
lifts the veil to reveal
The most beautiful joys ....small as they may seem
meaningful nonetheless
Smile of a baby, a giggle lilting through wind
A single happenstance to put things in perspective
To make a new beginning...or end a gray stretch
Thats life isnt it?
Each day, each minute a chance ...an opportuinity to make a start
A struggle if you drag your feet a war if you wage it against yourself
Its still all there is and our prerogative
LIFE a little word, a big treasure
LIFE a rogue domain of persistent wants
LIFE a broken stanza of a crazy love song.