Escape Artist

I am an escape artist

Just call me the Queen of 'De-Nile'

I slither through the reality like a wisp of smoke before the fire

Autumn days like now and here

Pressed tight to my being

Numerous rainy days persevered

Many years lived and learnt

Forgetting is an art

Remembering is a skill

I exist between both of those

Where fantasy unravels her wings

So here we go again, I remember a day a long long time ago. It was an evening and I was on the beach. Walking through tiny rivulets at the very edge where waves would just touch and go.

I was with a friend. Both of us teenaged girls full of dreams. We talked and talked about random things. Just imagining what the future would be like, being so scared of the unknown, but excited even more by it.

Do you remember dear friend the time we spent being crazy together. The way we rebelled and dared and defied boundaries together.

I still can remember the smell of the cigarettes you smoked, and I tried too but I never could. I never really swallowed the smoke and exhaled it too soon. I remember your false bravado. The desperation to finish the pack before you went home. You never became a smoker, so what the hell was that all about. I know it now, it was rebellion, to break free of the ties that hold a girl back from being a girl.

I remember being girls. How vulnerable we were. Do you sometimes look back and ache for what was, do you hold it in your memory like the inheritence of youth, the privelege we shared.

Do you remember getting drunk on gin and laughing till we thought our jaws would freeze that way. Where are you dear friend, I talk to your shell from time to time, but the pearl within is gone. Is this what grown up you is now?

So when do you laugh because it feels like it

When do you make up silly stories about things that might be.

You scare me now, I am starting to feel you never really existed, that I made you up..like everything else I did at the time.

Or is true and I can flatter myself, that I made you be like that because I reflected in you....whatever it is I miss you....girlfriend..